Starfish Sisters Page 7

  'How about a fashion parade?' Ace suggested. 'I model all the time.'

  'Yeah!' Georgie looked stoked. 'What do you reckon, Kia? You'd be into that, wouldn't you? It'd be a way to get your designs out there and that's what you want. It's a win-win.'

  It was so not a win-win!

  'It'd take a while to organise a fashion parade.' I cautiously threw the words out. 'And Ace, aren't you only allowed to wear Ocean Pearl? Wouldn't that be like breaking the contract?'

  'As if they'd find out,' Georgie snapped.

  'Anyway, that's classified as charity and I'm allowed to do that,' Ace said. 'Maybe we should ask Carla about it, 'cause we want to get it right. You know, make it look professional. I reckon the last week of camp would be the best time.'

  'What about the team trials?' My neck felt tight.

  'It's probably good to have something else to focus on.' Georgie kept nodding. 'Lighten up the pressure a bit.'

  'That's true,' Ace agreed. 'And if we had it in the last week it'd give us plenty of time to plan and rehearse.'

  'Pick the right music,' added Georgie.

  Back and forth, back and forth their suggestions flew while my fingernails pinched at the ridges on my thighs. Suddenly, Georgie pointed towards Micki's bed. 'Oh no! You don't think she's been listening, do you?'

  'She's crashed for sure,' Ace whispered back, turning off the lamp. 'It was a really good idea of yours, Kia, giving Micki that space away from us chatterboxes so she can get to sleep. Little one,' Ace crooned. 'No wonder she doesn't talk much.'

  We said goodnight. Ace crawled into her bed and Georgie turned over and cuddled up to her pillow. Me? I lay there hating myself as my fingertips ran across the inside of my thighs.

  I drifted in and out of strange thoughts that merged into a strange dream of Micki standing over my bed, watching me.

  MICKI

  Soon the steady breaths floated up from Kia's bed. I knew she'd been lying awake. That's what liars do.

  Quietly, I trod across the bungalow floor. For a little while, I stood watching Kia's chest rise and fall. How could she have done that? How could she have told the others those things about my mother? She knew nothing about me and my life.

  I hated her. Perhaps now I hated her more than she hated me.

  You're not going to let her ruin the camp. I'd lay in bed telling myself while she'd blabbed to the others. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're here to surf. Here to get picked for the Junior Team Training Camp. You're here to find a way out.

  Perched up on the toilet, my feet folded under me, I began the second entry in my diary.

  Saturday 6 January: Day two

  The best eva free surf with Georgie and Megan. 8 turns I made on one wave – that's my record. But it was small then. Once it pumped a bit more, the paddling to get back out got harder and all my energy was going into that.

  But Jake was really nice about it. 'We're going to do a lot of upper body strengthening in the gym, Miss Micki.' He said that without me saying anything to him. It's like he just watches you surf once and then he gets straightaway what you need to work on.

  I'm different to Ace, Georgie and Kia as I've never had a coach before. I thought Ace ignored Jake every time he opened his mouth but I wanted to write down every word he said.

  Georgie's surfing was awesome, especially when it picked up. I was so pleased for her coz Jake fully picked her to bits in the video session.

  Megan cut herself and I got the wobbles with the blood. All in all pretty embarrassing but Jake and Megan were really sweet to me and Georgie did my lunch roster.

  I'm not sure how long I'd been staring before I realised I'd stopped writing. The starfish tiles were stretching and climbing the walls like giant anemones. But I'd been seeing something different.

  Mum was sitting on the couch and I was standing there holding out my bottle to her. She'd forgotten to give me my milk.

  Mum took the bottle and went into the kitchen. I followed, my Dorothy the Dinosaur blanket dragging on the floor behind me.

  'S'ere Micki.' She handed me my milk, staggering back a bit as she closed the fridge door. 'Go t'sleep.'

  Mum went back to the living room where the sleeping bodies lay, their breath steady but so light, like they were about to float away.

  A packet of bread sat on top of the fridge. I was hungry so I pushed a stool over, climbed up on it and pulled the loaf to the floor.

  Cheese sandwiches were my favourite. Probably because they filled my tummy for the longest. I searched the fridge for the cheese but I couldn't find any. Mum's head was beginning to nod up and down and I knew she'd get cross if I disturbed her again, so I decided to ask Dad where the cheese was.

  The memory got a bit fuzzy after that. I was only three at the time. As I got older I began to fill in the picture the way it probably happened, and now that's how it was to me.

  Dad was on the balcony. He wasn't really asleep but he wasn't really awake either. I must've gone out there and somehow leant on or squeezed between the part of the railing that was loose.

  It was me that fell off the balcony. The next morning someone walking their dog found me lying on the concrete. I broke my left wrist and got a compound fracture of my left leg. It was my blood on the driveway, not my mother's.

  A few days later my mother did die in hospital, but not from a fall. She died in the emergency department after she overdosed on heroin. It was the third time she'd taken too much and stopped breathing. Only this time the doctors couldn't bring her back.

  There was still a scar on my leg. It was tiny. It looked like an old mozzie bite. Once I'd asked Reg if it was a birthmark. I still remember what he said to me. He said it was a little girl's mark that was there to remind me that when the little girl became big, she would do something wonderful with her life.

  Tonight, I make a pledge. I promise that I am going to make that training team camp. I swear that I am going to work so hard on my surfing that one day I will be the best in the whole world.

  11.39 pm. Micki Elvich, 12 years, 352 days.

  The cicadas blasted me with their song at 6.11 am. This morning I was on brekkie duty for Georgie but as it was Sunday, breakfast wasn't till 8.30 am and there were no activities beforehand.

  The early-morning air was still cool and my spring wetsuit was down in the board shed. I took my cossie from the line outside and snuck down to the beach in my PJs. The other three could concentrate on their beauty sleep.

  The sun was rising. Sprinkles of light sparkled on the water. It almost looked like the evening stars were falling into the sea.

  The waves were small, two foot at the most, but they were thick and clean.

  I waxed my board, careful not to rub hard over the dings that'd been repaired. So why did Georgie, and now Ace, want to get me a new board? Sure, it'd be great. And it meant the money I'd already saved could go towards a sealed wettie. That'd make winter heaps easier. But I wasn't sure how I felt about being their charity project.

  'Hey.' Shyan sat on the sand next to me. 'Good to see an early bird.'

  'Yeah,' I said, and smiled. 'How beautiful is it?'

  'This is the best part of the day,' Shyan said. 'So peaceful.'

  'Except for the cicadas,' I added. 'But they are a good alarm clock.'

  'So as the youngest grom at camp, what do you think?' Shyan asked. 'Settling in okay?'

  'I love it here,' I replied. 'That talk the nutritionist gave us yesterday was so good. I was expecting it to be a bit boring. But I learnt so much.'

  'Good.' Shyan smiled. She had a big healthy set of teeth. I hoped mine would look like hers one day. Not yellow like Dad's. 'If I had to give anyone advice about being here,' she said, 'I'd say listen and learn. There's so much you can take away from here, Micki.'

  I nodded.

  'We'll start turning it up after today,' Shyan told me. 'Come Monday there'll be girl-to-girl contests, team contests, strength training, lung fitness – do you think you're ready?'

&
nbsp; 'Yep,' I said. 'Totally.'

  'Good girl.' Shyan pulled my ponytail. 'All you girls could have big futures. If you understand that now and put the work in, it'll pay off. Trust me.'

  'I'd love to be where Ace is by the time I'm sixteen,' I said. 'I mean, being fully sponsored that is.'

  'Just between you and me, Micki,' Shyan said softly, 'you could be a lot further than Ace by then. Don't get lost in the distractions. You have to be self-sufficient and focused to make it. Do you get what I'm saying?'

  Shyan didn't know how much I got it.

  The sun finished climbing into the sky as Shyan and I paddled out across the ocean. It was so peaceful. Not quiet – the ocean was never quiet. But we were the only signs of human life, here in the vast blueness. It made me feel so small.

  'Have you ever seen a shark here?' I asked.

  'I've seen an old grey nurse a couple of times.'

  'Oh.'

  'Not lately,' she said. 'The feed's better further up the coast.'

  'That's good,' I gulped.

  'Yeah. It can eat them, not us.' Shyan looked behind at the sweet set that was rolling in. 'Go on. That wave's got your name on it.'

  I survived breakfast duty. The girls were right about Brian. He was super-ugly and super-bossy. Every time I did anything he'd tell me I was doing it wrong. I didn't know an orange couldn't be sliced with a bread knife. I did now.

  I helped myself to some fruit, muesli and natural yoghurt. I preferred flavoured yoghurt, but the nutritionist said natural was better as it contained less sugar.

  'Micki,' Georgie waved. 'I saved you a seat.'

  Ace and Georgie greeted me with a big smile and 'Hiiiii.'

  Kia was over at another table, chatting to Megan and Jake.

  'Did you sleep well?' Ace asked me.

  'Yes,' I nodded. 'I crashed the minute my head hit the pillow.'

  I was feeling totally self-conscious, but I swear I felt Ace's knee tap Georgie's.

  'Did Brian go ballistic in the kitchen?' Georgie said, smirking.

  'Yes. How strict is he?' I said. 'I had to measure out the exact amount of muesli.'

  'Don't worry.' Ace was checking her phone under the table. 'We had to count out the exact number of almonds for each person yesterday.'

  'What's the surf like?' Georgie asked.

  'Small, but pretty perfect,' I replied.

  'Jake said there's a storm predicted for this afternoon,' Ace announced. 'That'll bring up the groundswell. He reckons it could get big for a while.'

  My heart jumped a bit. Coolina could get big – that was part of its reputation – and the cyclone season was soon. I wanted the challenge of the bigger surf. It made me nervous, but it made me excited too.

  'Big, schmig,' Georgie sighed.

  'That was a bit random,' Ace laughed.

  'I want to go back to bed and sleep.' Georgie yawned.

  This was my cue. 'Were you guys up late talking?'

  Ace looked straight at Georgie. 'No way.' Her voice suddenly got loud. 'I fell asleep straightaway. I was stuffed last night.'

  Smiling would show I believed. So that's what I did.

  'Quick, Ace,' Georgie whispered, 'Carla's coming.'

  Ace stuffed her mobile under her legs.

  'Good morning, girls.' Carla stopped at our table. 'Georgie, I thought you might like to organise a game of soccer for this afternoon. Six a side. Yeah?'

  Georgie suddenly woke up, sat straight and grinned. 'I'd love to. That's so cool. Thanks.'

  'Bags goalie!' Ace said.

  'Done,' Georgie answered. 'Micki, what do you want to play?'

  'Play what?' Kia pulled out the chair next to me. 'Hi Micki.'

  So she managed to greet me even if it was to the floor and not my face. 'Did you . . . um . . . sleep well?'

  'Fine,' I answered.

  'I'm going to ask Carla if I can organise a tennis comp too.' Ace sounded excited. 'They don't call me Ace for nothing!'

  'Is that how you got that name?' Georgie asked.

  'Yeah,' Ace replied. 'It kind of started with Courtney, tennis court, then sort of grew into Ace.'

  'Kia, you said it came from "ice".' I'd shocked myself but it just popped out. 'Um, like ice queen.'

  'Huh?' Ace was turning between me and Kia. 'Ice?'

  'That's what Kia told me.' Now I was being mean, and I wasn't very good at being mean. But too late, I'd said it. Kia was going a shade of crimson. It served her right too.

  'Did – did I?' she stammered.

  'Yeah,' I continued. 'You told me it came from ice queen.'

  'Nice!' Georgie spluttered. 'Where'd you get that bit of bullshit from, Kia?'

  'Kia's got plenty of it,' I wanted to say. Like me not liking blood because of what happened to my mother. I don't like the sight of blood because I just don't.

  'Oh, I'm um . . .' Kia was doing a bad job of shrugging it off. 'You know, I can't remember now where I heard it.'

  'You must've really been looking forward to meeting me,' Ace said to Kia. 'You must've thought I was a total bitch!'

  I turned to Kia. This was for last night: 'You told me you already knew Ace.'

  'No I didn't,' Kia lied. Her leg was jerking up and down under the table. 'As if I would've said that.'

  She knew she'd been caught and that was enough. I couldn't be bothered going on with it. It didn't make me feel any better.

  'Right!' Georgie clapped her hands. 'Don't you love silences!'

  'Don't you hate it when you're talking on the phone and there's a long silence?' Ace added quickly. 'I had this boyfriend in year seven and we used to have that happen to us all the time.'

  'Grounds for dumping, I'd say,' Georgie said.

  'It was so bad when I did dump him,' Ace told us, ''cause the next week his mother was killed in a car crash. She was like squashed into the size of a sandwich. It was –'

  This time I definitely saw Georgie's leg whack Ace's. It was hard not to as the table almost jumped. Ace stopped mid-sentence and another uncomfortable silence consumed us.

  ACE

  Georgie burst through the door showing just a bit too much leg.

  'Okay, are you ready?' she asked. 'These are the teams. Us Starfish with Megan and Jaime from the Dolphins and the others with the Seahorse girls.'

  'And I'm goalie?' I slowly tied my shoelaces. It was a better view than Georgie pulling at the legs of her shorts. She wasn't going to stretch them any further, if that's what she was trying to do.

  'Come on. Let's kick some butt.'

  'Right-o,' I saluted. Georgie was so into it. 'At your service, Sergeant Elwood Ross.'

  'Beep beep,' my mobile echoed.

  Georgie's hands flew to her hips. 'Courtney McFarlane?'

  'I'll be quick, I promise.'

  'Hurry.'

  'I will.'

  Georgie stood there, waiting.

  'Off you go,' I shooed her away. 'I'll be there in a sec.'

  Tim's texts had been getting sexy, almost sleazy. In fact, yesterday some of them creeped me out and I wondered if he'd sent them or if it was actually Rasta and Brent having a joke at my expense – not that it was very funny. But whoever it was, I knew I didn't want Kia, Georgie or anyone else reading them. I would die!

  I peered at the screen. 'Ace I want ma face . . .' I slammed my phone shut. There was no way it was Tim sending me these texts. Absolutely no way.

  'So does he still love you?' Georgie popped her head around the door.

  'Heaps!' I called, heading to the safety of the bathroom.

  'I know what you're doing in there,' called Georgie.

  'I'll see you down there.' Please go away.

  'Don't be long!'

  Straightaway I deleted the message. I didn't want a second read of it.

  'Tim,' I typed. But what was I going to say? What if it was him and not Rasta or Brent sending that stuff? But it couldn't be. It couldn't be!

  The last time I was with Tim he told me that he really loved me and wouldn't ever
do anything to hurt me. That's why I agreed to go all the way with him.

  I wanted him. At least I was pretty sure I did. Sometimes my body ached and it made me want to scream. But then Tim would say something, like something he fantasised about doing to me and then the ache inside me would disappear, just like that. Then I'd get scared it was just a use. That terrified me more than anything. I wanted him to love me. I wanted it to be perfect. I wanted us to look at the same moon and think about each other.

  I deleted 'Tim' and wrote 'Babe' instead. That didn't sound as serious. I needed to let Tim know I didn't like these sorts of messages, but at the same time I didn't want him to think I was immature and couldn't handle them.

  That was the other thing with Tim. If I ever said, 'I'm not really sure about doing that' or, 'Please don't do that, I'm not quite ready,' he'd get all huffy and say words like, 'I thought you were a big girl.'

  My palm gripped my phone. What will I say? What will I say?

  I sat on the toilet seat and placed my feet on the bin, accidentally tipping the lid off.

  'Yuck!' I squealed, tucking my legs up under me. 'That's off!'

  When Kia got her period yesterday she'd shoved a heap of bloody toilet paper into the bin. It was disgusting. She was lucky it wasn't Micki who'd tipped it over.

  I stood up, slamming the lid on, and went back to my message.

  'Pleze stop those texts. Luv u xxx.'

  But when I read it back it sounded too harsh, like I was giving him an order. He wouldn't like that.

  The bathroom door was definitely locked. I gave the handle a rattle and a pull just to check, then pressed 'call'.

  'Ace!' Tim answered straightaway.

  'Hey.' My heart was pounding.

  'You got my text?'

  Tim had sent it!

  'I'm horny, Acey.'

  'Um? Tim?' Stuff, feelings, words were charging around my head, colliding into each other before exploding into smoke. 'Please don't . . . um, please don't send me those sorts of messages. Sorry honey, but I'm, I'm . . . um, sharing a room and I can't . . . risk them being read, by the others. You know they're so into you being my boyfriend and –'